Just Mustard

I walked by the hot dog stand outside the VA today and wondered to myself what the vendor's reaction would be if I ordered "the usual." I laughed to myself. But then I was sad because if I had to order, I'd have to say, "Mustard. Coke." and I don't like mustard. So there goes that idea.

New life

I got to help welcome a new member into Christ's family yesterday. One of the most beautiful baptisms I've ever witnessed, because it truly was a celebration of new life. A soul was claimed for the Kingdom, and there was truly much rejoicing (yay). Children of all ages gathered 'round the font as Fr. Pat plunged the tiny baby into the water in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The choir burst into a chorus of Alleluias as he held her up for all of us to see. And then the community stood and welcomed our newest member. I only cringed because I knew that all those hands touching her face as she toured the sanctuary were riddled with germs that she didn't have immunity to yet. But it was only a passing thought. Mostly I was filled with tears of joy (which thankfully kept their place). I love experiences that make me so grateful to be Catholic, to be able to experience the fullness of truth, the beauty of the sacraments, and the union of the Church. I'm hoping, too, that as we start Lent, and I renew my consecration, my heart may be gently led towards conversion and held firmly in peace (since I know that the rest of my world will be crazy). May you find those same blessings this season.

Living and learning

Aw, Susan totally went and showed me up by posting twice in the last few days, so I'm not feeling quite as creative and witty as I sometimes do. But neither am I tired, so I'll tell you a few things about my trip to California anyways.

I cannot describe how much I love little shops and brick streets and pastries in the window and Italian restaurants whose names and menus are actually in Italian, nor can I articulate what it is about all of it that I love. I think it speaks of a simpler time, when attention was paid to the details, to sitting down and really sharing a meal, instead of just eating; when passers-by knew each other by name; when we weren't constantly running from one thing to the next and had time to swing in for a cup of coffee or a glance around the art gallery. Not that my life has ever been like that, but I have this distant dream that it might be someday, and I often spend my mental wanderings living such a life. But I'm starting to realize that I'll never actually live on a vineyard in Tuscany, and if I did, I'd have to worry about the huge insects and not knowing Italian and being far away from family and sinks that drip constantly. But I can take those moments in every day that remind me to slow down and appreciate life, to savor each breath, and to not let people look down on me for my somewhat disproportionate excitement at seeing cannoli and autographed pictures of Mia Hamm, dog bowls on each doorstep and the mesmerizing waves crashing against the beach, seals playing on the docks and vintage American memorabilia.

I also have un-ruled-out academic medicine from my career path. There's a lot to be learned from current research and those who are passionate about it. Like nanotechnology with the capability of delivering cancer drugs with an exponentially increased efficiency. Or something as simple as the rising incidence of sports injuries or accidental deaths from the "choking game." I learned that I really do know a lot about autism, but only because as a whole, there's still a lot we don't know. And I learned that there's always more to learn. There's a reason I didn't balk at 7+ years of medical education: I like learning. All of you out there who think research needs to be done at a bench with a microscope should take heart. I did. There might be academic medicine in my future yet.

The Great Adventure

I realized that I miss writing. Even if it's not something I'm particularly good at, I enjoy it, and I think I'm going to try to do more of it, even if it is just journaling and blogging.

This afternoon, during free time on our retreat, we headed out to the frozen pond, where the boys had played hockey earlier in the week. We were content to slide around in our shoes, although I'm proud to say that my shoes were by far the slickest, and I did win the contest to see how far we could slide after being slingshotted (is that a word?) across the ice. I also managed to fall unintentionally far more than anyone else, though maybe that has little to do with my slippery shoes. We were joined on the ice by Petrus, a Bernese mountain dog who lives at St. Malo, wanders the grounds without a collar (though has to be locked up during Mass or I'm told he's quite disruptive), and plays a mean game of tug-o-war. After our ice time, we hiked the John Paul II Trail, so named because the late pope hiked that path during his retreat to St. Malo during his stay in Colorado for WYD 1993 (btw, we held our meetings in the room he stayed in, and it was awesome to reflect on the amazing man that he was and how much he affected our whole generation, as well as each of us individually). Petrus led the way, stopping occasionally to make sure we were following him, using the break to veer from the trail to eat fresh snow. On the way back, he bounded ahead of us like a little puppy, stick in his mouth, begging us to chase him. Of course we obliged.

There were many other great moments this weekend, laughing hysterically at meals to stories of sleep-walking and marathons ("Tell the girls downtown..."), learning about the start of Marian groups in Denver, hiding in laundry hampers and scaring the crap out of Rachelle and Laura...you know, the usual stuff.

We also had plenty of time for prayer, sharing, reflection, and learning about ourselves and each other. I don't know that I made concrete steps in any direction this weekend, at least as far as my faith goes, but I know that God just wants me to stop worrying and love Him, because in the end, that's the only thing that matters, and nothing I can do is big enough to screw up His plans if He doesn't want it to. So I rest knowing that I am surrounded by holy, loving, funny, profound women of Christ and that I am never alone in my walk with Him.

A sad commentary

I wasn't expecting great moral theology to come from today's lecture on sexual dysfunction, don't get me wrong. But I certainly was dealt a blow when our lecturer said, and I quote to the best of my memory, "The whole point of sex is to use each other for your own pleasure." What? Yup, that's what he said. Reiterated it a few times just in case we missed it, too. And here I thought the whole purpose of sex was to so give of yourself as to become one and to share in the procreative work of the Creator. I was just disgusted and saddened, especially after the Life-Giving Freedom conference last weekend. Not only was it ignoring the truth that man can only be found in a sincere gift of himself (GS), but it was the complete opposite. I don't think it's any wonder that we are coming up on 35 years of legal abortion in our country, that divorce rates are so high, that so many children grow up with single parents, and that so many people are still so unhappy. It's because our society (and apparently our doctors!) tell us that other people are there for us to use for our own pleasure. Which inevitably permits other people to use us for their purposes. Twisted. I can't imagine anyone sits around thinking, "You know, I'd rather be used as an object than loved as a subject." But that's what our world tells us to settle for. You guys, we've got a long way to go in spreading the GOOD news. I just hope we're strong enough and convincing enough to do it.

Today's Secret Ingredient...

I've discovered I'm not the only one who can be put in a good mood by eating of sushi. Spur of the moment (for me) trip to Japon for Ann's birthday tonight. Nothing quite like edamame and avocado to put a smile on your face. I think there were 15 of us girls crammed back there in the red room, wielding chopsticks like nobody's business. I think the highlight of the night (besides the amazing cake that Ann--not the birthday girl--made--holy cow was that amazing!) was the quail egg tasting. It started as more of a joke, but I'll take any chance to feel like I'm on Iron Chef America. On 3, pour it on your caterpillar roll and try to stuff it in your mouth without 1) breaking the yolk or 2) letting it roll off the side onto the floor. It's so much fun checking things off my list of things to do before I die, especially things that I never knew were on the list. I'm still not quite ready for caviar. One step at a time.

The other real highlight was just being among so many wonderful Catholic women, a frequent occurrence for me in Denver. When Ann--again, not the birthday girl--gave the toast, I almost cried. Yay for those kinds of friends. The kind that you know you will keep even if they do decide to move to Kansas City. :)

NEW and exciting!

So today was the first day back to class. A big deal. New campus, new library, new lecture halls (so new they weren't ready, so we had to change location), new light switches (with plates that fall off when touched), new water bottles for all of us (complete with Tootsie Rolls and pedometers to walk it off--I'm not even to 3,000 steps and it's 7:30...I think I maybe shouldn't have eaten the Tootsie Rolls), and a news crew to document the whole thing. But we've since failed to find any news with us on it. I like the new campus. Got in a full 8 hour day and still home for dinner. And still can't get any work done at my apartment, which is why it's good that I stayed on campus.

Also in exciting news--I have 3 friends that are expecting babies this year! Woohoo. I'm super excited to see new little babies! Of course, 2 live out of state, so I'm super excited to see new little baby! Nonetheless, it's awesome.

And hooray for a super exciting FOCUS conference that I'm missing. There's are definitely a handful of talks and Third Day concerts I wouldn't have minded going to. But alas, no rest for the future doctors of America.