Residency 2.8: Green Team

Tonight I'm headed out to our celebratory end-of-Green-Team dinner. We're a few days early, and it might not be so much of a celebration as a decompression, but I'm definitely looking forward to it. Green Team is one of our general pediatrics inpatient teams, but it's senior-only, which means just me and another senior and the attending. No interns, no medical students, no pre-rounding. Just seeing patients and making the plans. It's a LOT of work, especially since there were just 2 of us.

It was a real challenge to be the person in charge and making the plan for the day, deciding when someone is ready to go home, or whether another test should be run, and then being the one to explain it all to the patients and parents. For example, how do you decide how much work up to do on a 16 year old that you're pretty sure is new-onset schizophrenia, but you can't rule out a rare autoimmune disease, especially when he won't wake up from his catatonic state enough to answer any questions and has to spend 24/7 in restraints? And how do you explain things to a grandma who believes he has a demon inside him? Yeah, that one was interesting.

I was super grateful that I had an amazing co-senior on with me. We got along famously, worked hard and well together, and had a lot of laughs. Even though I'm ending the month a little burned out, I can't imagine how much worse it could have been.

I go next month to the PICU, which I'm scared for but I know I'll learn a lot. Please pray for me. Also, feel free to send me care packages, love notes, pep talk voice mails, etc. I'll see you on the other side.

Almost a lifesaver

In my first year of medical school, they had this big tent out on the quad where you could swab your cheek and sign up to be part of the National Marrow Donor Program. Being all young and idealistic about my new chosen path of saving lives, I naturally swabbed away. And kind of haven't thought about it since. Today I got an email saying I could be a match. I almost had a heart attack.

So many questions--would I get chosen and get to save a life? When would this happen? Would I be able to get off work? If I was chosen, would I have to do a bone marrow aspirate? (Cause I've seen them done...they do NOT look fun! At least not from the patient's standpoint. From our standpoint, it was pretty cool...until Becca sprayed blood everywhere...long story)

Turns out I was WAY ahead of myself and when I called the registry, I found out I was disqualified for now on a bit of a technicality. And I'm not sure if I feel more disappointment or relief. Probably both. I have the utmost respect for those who choose to be donors, especially for complete strangers. I suppose that when I signed up, I really did hope that I could save a life some day. And if for that, if I have to suffer through someone jabbing a HUGE needle in my hip, then I guess I'll do it...some day.

For now, I'll have to save lives the old fashioned way.

Thanks. Just thanks.

So, inspired by Hilary, I decided to keep a gratitude log for a week. Not just little things like “good breakfast” or “warm car” although those things are nice. But to really focus on something that really makes me grateful. And when this week started, I felt like I was going to need something to keep me positive. Here’s what happened…

2/13—Today at work a lot of things went wrong. I know, not the best way to start a “gratitude log”. Hear me out. We had difficult patient issues, members of our team who were not feeling well, and then to top it all off, the entire paging system in the hospital crashed, making it very difficult to communicate. However, amidst all of this, today we had a couple of my favorite nurses taking care of our kiddos, and it was just super refreshing to see faces that you know, who know you by name and know that you’re working hard, and who do what they can to help you out, and who go above and beyond without being asked. It makes me love my job even more when I feel like part of a team that is firing on all cylinders (or however many cylinders there are when your pager isn’t working).

2/14—While I may have eaten a little too much my weight in Valentine’s Day treats today, I burned off at least half of it laughing. I generally am a neurotically efficiency-crazy person (WHY do rounds take so long!), but I am always happy to pause for stories that make tears stream down my face and my stomach hurt. Like one of my fellow residents shutting herself in her (not walk-in) closet for a mental breakdown, or a child-to-remain-unnamed who used the kitty litter box for her own and still won’t live it down. Or my new favorite video that makes me feel so normal and well-adjusted. Today, I am most definitely grateful for JOY!

2/15—A patient of mine that has been a real struggle this week in many ways was starting to show signs of improvement. Very small signs, and there are still a lot of unanswered questions. More than answered questions by far. But I am grateful for baby steps, for moving towards a goal, for the ability to pray for my patients in addition to offering medicine. It’s not perfect, but it’s something.

2/16—Biscuits and gravy for Halfway Breakfast? Attending brings me a grande latte? Cosentino’s desserts on the counter? Only one admission today? Yup, lots to be thankful for!

2/17—Tonight was Brandi’s bachelorette party. And bridal shower. It was a “showerlette”, which I’m pretty sure is a made-up word. Brandi is my co-senior on Green Team this month, which means she’s spending more time with me than with her fiancé. Yeah, I think it’s true. Brandi is outgoing and expressive and bubbly and confident, and her friends can throw a crazy party! Most fun I’ve had in a LONG time! I’m thankful for Brandi, and for her getting married, and for Italian wine and good friends and better-than-sex cheesecake.

2/18—Was really tired today due to said “showerlette”. But I’m grateful that it was a shorter day than most, that I got done in time to go to Mass, and that I can go to bed early, ‘cause I do love me some sleep!

2/19—I’m super grateful, again and again, that I have a job where more days than not, I wake up excited to go to work. Well, actually I wake up feeling like a truck hit me and I need about 2 more hours of sleep, but once I’ve had my coffee, I’m excited to be at work. I am often reminded of how blessed I am to have work that is fulfilling and challenging, with people that I love, in a supportive environment.

Well, that was fun. The week wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I guess I have a lot to be thankful for. Thanks, Hilary.

The sun'll come out...

Today I was reminded how little it takes to ruin someone's day. But we're not going to talk about that. Because A) It's my blog and ranting about it will only make me madder, and B) I was also reminded how little it takes to brighten someone's day. Whether it's commiserating about the trials of dating, funny jokes about dead pets (sounds morbid, but you had to be there, man, I was crying I was laughing so hard), awesome cards/packages in the mail, or a friend who backs you up no matter what.

You never know how someone's day is going or what's on their mind, but you can choose how you interact with them.

Today, I'm grateful that I am surrounded mostly by people who choose to brighten. And for cookies.

Residency 2.7: Community Office Month

I spent the last month at a community pediatrics office, an experience meant to expose us to the scope of practice and lifestyle of your average outpatient general pediatrician. You would think that since the goal of residency is to train a general pediatrician that we would have more experiences like this. I wish we did. The patient population served by the office I was at was way different (read: more educated and possessing health insurance) than that served by Children's Mercy in general. And the questions are way different. Not so much, "Can you help me buy a crib?" and "I missed my bus, how do I get home?" and more of the "I'm a little worried she didn't learn all of her colors before her second birthday, how far behind is she?"

Okay, that's stereotyping a bit. In truth though, it was a great window into what I envision my career likely being--seeing kids from the time they're born until they off to college, knowing their siblings names and their parents' jobs, and being able to recommend normal over-the-counter stuff without having to worry that they can't afford it. Being able to spend some of the visit having tickle fights because you saw them last month and know you already went over how to treat a cold. But also being able to see a 4 week old with bronchiolitis and be able to see him the next day, that continuity of care that just isn't possible when you're off to something new every month. I know I'm in a learning phase, and I have a long way to go, but I'm excited to get to the next step too. Cause I'm pretty good at tickle fights.