I'm pretty good at procrastinating too

Whoa, must be something in the air that I have so many things I need to say.
Last one for today, promise.
But I was just thinking today (and not for the first time) that I don't have anything that I'm super good at, or super passionate about. I mean, I'm not a musician, not truly an athlete (though I pretend, and live vicariously through Mary), not a writer, not an artist. Even the things I like--soccer, biking, hiking--I'm a far cry from a true enthusiast. I just want one thing that I can say I'm better at than most people. And yes, that's my pride talking. Even the Gospel this weekend talked about the talents God has given us and whether or not we've developed them, and at first glance, I can't say I've done a great job getting returns. At the moment, all I can think is that I'm pretty good at quoting movies, and I can successfully pull off a rainbow kick 3 out of 4 tries. Not exactly paths toward the kingdom. On the other hand, I know that many aspects of my so-called talentless life are enviable. I am in a career field that I love, one that every day leaves me in awe of the great responsibility and privilege that comes with it; I have a wonderful family; I have my health; I have a future full of possibilities. So who cares if I can't play a musical instrument to save my life, or that I can't cook, can't knit, and for all practical purposes, lack a bonafide hobby. It could be worse.

As I'm writing, I maybe found one. I think that most people are impressed by my constant reading. I do plow through more books in a year than most people I know, so that's something. And by and large, I try to pick books that in some way enrich my life, whether it be through exploring history, learning about saints, appreciating the classics, or just escaping for a bit. If you need recommendations, you know where to find me.

I think I need some ice cream

I couldn't taint the last post by adding non-smiley things, so I'm making a new post.
Just to say that even though five of my friends got married last year, and like 4 this year, and half a dozen new babies, and more engagements...it was being in a room with mostly couples at a party on Friday that made me feel the loneliest. I try not to fall into the "always a bridesmaid" mentality, but less and less of my friends are still single, which is a bummer for two reasons, 1) I'm more aware than ever that I still am, and 2) they're never around to hang out with. I'm filling my head with reassurances that God must have someone incredible out there for me, because His plan is supposed to be so much better than mine, but this sure isn't it. I used to very whole-heartedly say that I was fine being single, and still growing a lot, and wouldn't have time for it anyway. My arguments are getting less convincing. And yet, the thought of being so close to someone is terrifying, so I'm just hoping that somewhere in the midst of my making a mess of things, God can straighten out my head, give me courage and clarity, and place a man in my life that really will bring me more happiness than I could imagine for myself. Here's hoping.

Okay, sorry for the melancholy. Just needed to vent.

I smile when I think about...

Colorado blue skies and Colorado blue mountains
Crunching leaves on the sidewalk
Singing Christmas music in the car with Kelly
Sitting at home watching a movie, knowing I get to sleep in the next morning
Having nothing to do on a Sunday besides whatever I want
Twelve girls in a kitchen, all doing dishes even though no one asked
Knowing other people are thinking the same things I am
Falling asleep
Laughing till I cry

Even unto death

Fr. Felix gave an awesome homily today, one that I think will be relevant long after today's results are in. The reading was from Philippians, that Jesus humbled Himself, becoming obedient, even to death on a cross. Father reminded us that God has already given us His example of how to choose in this life. We must be obedient to our faith, even to death. How many of us do that? How many of us are obedient even though another choice is more popular, feels better, seems more rational, makes a bigger statement, or fuels our pride more? While I think this election is a great example of that, and the fact that our Church urges us to vote for life and to make it a priority, there are tons of other examples in our lives. It's not an easy message to hear. We're ingrained to avoid obedience and death at all costs. But Jesus also promises that for those who follow His example, the yoke is easy and the burden light. Be obedient.

Moving on

Well, two weeks of delivering babies, and as cool as it all is (and it is really cool), I admit I'm a little babied out. Although I still have to say, that one minute when suddenly two new parents are made and the baby takes its first breath and cries, it's pretty amazing. The hour spent stitching up a bizarre third-degree tear...not so amazing.

Tomorrow I'm moving on to Emergency Medicine. Okay, I realize that most people who come into the ED are not actually in an emergency. Most people use it as their primary care on a weekend or if they lack insurance. And that stinks. But I'm still scared for that one in ten that is really sick, really dying, really needing someone with experience, which is the opposite of me. So here's hoping I have really good residents and maybe actually learn something so that the next time someone breaks their ankle on the football field, I won't just stand around like an idiot.