Residency 2.11: Well Baby

Wow, as I typed that title, I'm realizing that we are very close to Residency version 3.0...does that scare anyone else? Where have the last 2 years gone?

I spent the last month over at Truman in the Well Baby Nursery. We mostly just got to look at cute babies all day, plus go to deliveries and cover the NICU when we were on call (which felt like ALL the time). There were a few long calls, and a few sick babies, but overall it wasn't bad. Had a few cool moments that reinforce this crazy career choice, like last night when I got to reassure a tearful mom that her baby was going to be just fine, or getting to intubate a lifeless baby in the delivery room and then see the baby do great. We also did something like a thousand circumcisions. I always did a little dance inside when the baby was a girl.

And I will say there are few things more therapeutic than rocking a cute baby to sleep in your arms. But the best part by far was the great group of people that were over there this month--attendings, seniors, and interns. Truman can feel very isolated and lonely, but we made the best of it, and I dare say, occasionally even had fun (awesome halfway breakfast, guys!). Makes all the difference in the world.

And now I have to go read about my new team that I take over tomorrow. And maybe eat a cookie.

Blessed and Broken

A great truth from Henri Nouwen's amazing Life of the Beloved:

Our brokenness reveals something about who we are. Our sufferings and pains are not simply bothersome interruptions of our lives; rather, they touch us in our uniqueness and our most intimate individuality. The way I am broken tells you something unique about me. The way you are broken tells me something unique about you. That is the reason for my feeling very privileged when you freely share some of your deep pain with me, and that is why it is an expression of my trust in you when I disclose to you something of my vulnerable side...Facing [anguish] and living it through is the way to healing. But I cannot do that on my own. I need someone to keep me standing in it, to assure me that there is peace beyond the anguish, life beyond death, and love beyond fear...And so the great task becomes that of allowing the blessing to touch us in our brokenness. Then our brokenness will gradually come to be seen as an opening toward the full acceptance of ourselves as the Beloved.

Al dente

Yesterday I was feeling stressed. Rushed and a little overwhelmed and just down. And it was a gift when I ran into Brandi in the Chiefs' office and she asked how I was. You know how you can tell when people ask and actually want to know? So I said okay, knowing she would know exactly what I meant. She did. And invited me out for what I think was a pre-planned birthday celebration dinner, but she let me crash it anyways. It was exactly what I needed. Garlic cheese bread and Apples to Apples and laughing until tears were streaming down my face. And Jess may have snorted. Three times. I don't think any work people even know about this blog (oh, except the FDMDP--shout out!), so gushing their praises here may fall on deaf ears, but it's safe to say I'm super grateful that my coworkers are one of my biggest supports (when I allow them to be) and sources of joy. Also, that garlic cheese bread, I'm telling you, it's magic.

Residency 2.10: ER

Last night's shift felt like it was never going to end. I think one of the things that the control freak in me hates the most about the ER is the unpredictability. One night we completely cleared the board and I sat around for an hour and a half catching up on work and doing nothing, and two nights later we're literally sending out-of-town referrals to hotels because we can't let them wait around until the specialty clinics open. I'm more of a steady, work at my own pace kind of person. If anyone figures out what career that points me towards, let me know.

I don't have much to add that was all that different from previous ER months, except that I think each month I get a little more jaded about what people use the emergency room for. I could tell you some stories. Except then I start to get bitter. On the plus side, I'm getting more comfortable doing procedures and making decisions on my own, which is always my goal in the ER. It's one of the places where we get the most autonomy, and I push myself to take advantage of it.

Until next time...