Just finished my "shadow shift" in the ED, and have my first real shift on Saturday. Apparently, "shadow" means "see your own patients and carry your own phone" so even though I was nowhere near my usual efficient self as I tried to navigate a new system, I still was the one making the final decisions. It's weird knowing that I'm not going to run the patient by anyone who will hopefully catch anything I missed. That there isn't another, much more experienced set of eyes looking at my patients. I felt sneaky discharging the patients, like someone should still be double-checking me.
The good news is that I like the people I've met so far who are starting with me, even though because we're all new, we won't really be working "together" for a while, I finally got my access all set up, and I don't have to worry about learning a whole new city in addition to a new hospital system.
But still I'm having a lot of trepidation as I get ready to start, knowing that I'm just going to have to truck through the overwhelmingness of it and learn as I go. As one of my new co-workers said yesterday, after doing something different every month in residency, having no idea how things work and who people are should be old-hat. Hooray for us.
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