"Celebration is only possible through the deep realization that life and death are never found completely separate. Celebration can really come about only where fear and love, joy and sorrow, tears and smiles can exist together. Celebration is the acceptance of life in a constantly increasing awareness of its preciousness."
Again, Henri Nouwen is spot on. This is exactly what I'm feeling as I finish residency and my time in Kansas City. So it was almost a relief to read these words last night. Because it made it okay that I'm not just feeling giddy with joy and smiles, but also feeling some fear, sorrow, and apprehension about leaving and moving forward. I thought I should be leaping for joy at being done and moving home and starting my job. But it's terrifying and sad too. I'm leaving behind so much, not the least of which is familiarity, and we all know how much I love change. I've been kind of unable to feel the fullness of any one emotion because there's the opposite emotion pulling me in the other direction. But Nouwen's words make total sense and allow me to truly be present in this moment, whatever emotions are there. Because all of it can be wrapped up in this celebration of the preciousness of this part of my life. And I really can celebrate. Cheers!
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