Tuesday, August 14, 2007

You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life

I feel like I was this summer. It was perfect, for all practical purposes. I had tons of fun, did all the things I always feel like I should do but never make a priority, saw lots of friends, etc, etc. And although I suppose I like school, I rather regret the way it makes me feel, all apathetic and despairing that I'll ever learn it all, so why even try to do anything but cram because it's worked in the past. And then I get mad at myself for giving in, and it's just downhill from there. I guess I feel a little less in control when I'm in school. Not in a good "God is in control" way, but in a way that makes me wonder every day if this is really what I'm supposed to be doing, because who in their right mind becomes a doctor, and who am I to think that I'll ever be good enough to do it? Except it's what my heart yearns for, and I just have to trust that if it is right, I'll be able to do it. Course I also can't just wait for them to figure out learning by osmosis, so I suppose I should get back to the books, or the websites, or whatever learning methods the higher-ups have decided to shoulder us with.

Also, The Holiday was highly enjoyable the second time around.

Also, happy Feast of the Assumption (tomorrow)

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