Tomorrow is my parents' 30th anniversary, yay for them. We spent the weekend in Estes Park celebrating, and I have to say that I enjoyed myself quite a bit. Lots of good food, good hiking, my funny mother who thinks ducks aren't birds, and The Godfather. What's not to love? It's weird to think of my parents BC (before children). The stories we get to hear are few and far between, and that's unfortunate, because I think it's important, at least for me, to be able to picture my parents in my shoes now, a young adult, discerning my vocation. To hear my mom tell stories of my dad, she thought he was both wonderful and totally dorky, which is a fairly valid assessment I think.
This morning the priest at Mass was talking about vocations, and it was more the subject matter than anything specific that he said, but I found myself wondering if the reason I haven't discovered my vocation (besides not praying enough) is because I still don't trust God with it. I thought I did, but every time I think about taking a step towards married or single life (I have at least discerned the religious life is not for me), I hesitate. I neither trust that God can bring someone into my life who will love me enough to marry me and fulfill all of my seemingly insurmountable expectations, nor do I trust that if I am called to be single, God can make me truly happy. So I guess that's what I take to prayer. Maybe once I learn to trust, God's plan will just fall into place. Because at least I have faith enough to believe that He does have something incredible in store for me. I just don't know what it is yet.
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