Saturday, July 16, 2011

It all ends here

Well, it's all over. The great saga has ended. Can you believe we've been watching them on screen for 10 years? TEN! No wonder it felt like seeing old friends. We had a great crowd too, and you could feel the excitement in the theater--the applause when Molly Weasley gave Bellatrix her due, the (albeit quiet) cheers when Neville took down the final horcrux, the laughter when Maggie Smith delivered one of many of her perfect lines. I thought they did a great job with lots of difficult scenes that had high expectations, especially since we were on a time crunch. Snape's death and memories, the Gringott's break-in (really, how fantastic is Helena Bonham Carter?), mourning the dead after the final battle (yeah, I cried)--really the whole battle in general (especially after the horrendous ending of HP6), and although the makeup was kinda corny in the epilogue, they didn't screw it up too bad. It was a little sad leaving the theater and knowing it's over. And it's hilarious to look back at the first films and see how far we've come. We've truly grown up with these characters and actors. Thanks for a great run, guys!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

OOSA! OOSA! OOSA!

What a wild roller coaster of emotion! I'm pretty sure I'm going to get evicted for noise disturbance after today's game. Ups and downs from Brazil's own goal to the red card to the first save to the re-kick to overtime and the offside goal and all the way down to Abby's brilliant goal and the shoot-out. I went from jumping out of my chair to holding my head in my hands, often within seconds of each other. I can't remember ever seeing such poor officiating. Nor, thankfully, can I remember EVER seeing a team rise to the occasion like the US. Down a player for more than 55 minutes, fighting not only 11 of the most (individually) talented players in the world, but the ref, fatigue, and the prospect of the earliest World Cup exit in the team's history, and never giving up. And then calmly putting away 5 perfect balls and letting Hope do what Hope does best. Is it weird to feel so proud of something I can take no credit for? Cause I am proud. This is awesome soccer. Amazing athletes, extraordinary competitors, unmatched talent and heart. And we get to watch it again tonight on replay. Huzzah!

God bless...

The 4th of July came and went without much recognition from me, being that I was at the hospital seeing the carnage wrought by stupid fireworks celebrations. A fellow resident and I commiserated that it's not really my favorite holiday, except as an excuse to grill out, which I'll take any day. I think the cause gets a bit lost in the festivities. But last night at the Sporting KC game, I was reminded of what an important day it is.

The start of the National Anthem was lost amidst a host of pre-game announcements and crowds of people trying to grab dinner and find their seats. But as the notes of the song began to rise above the din, people began to turn to the flag, stop what they were doing, remove their caps, place their hands over their hearts. Concessions lines froze, screaming kids quieted, and for a precious few seconds, it didn't matter your political bent or how much you think this country is going to pot or how many bumper stickers you have on your car--it was enough to pause and be thankful that we are free enough to have these opinions. To be grateful for the men and women who have given so much so that the flag could fly. So, a belated Happy Independence Day to all those who recognize that it's worth celebrating (even if you're like me and could do without the fireworks).

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Top Ten

Things I loved about Intern Year...in no particular order...

10. Celebrations. It's Valentine's Day; it's our last day of the month; it's somebody's birthday; it's a Tuesday in June--let's party! In residency, we will use any excuse to bring in some cake/donuts/pinata and have ourselves a little shin-dig. Often, it's a bright spot in a long day, because suddenly that 30 hours doesn't seem so bad when there's a chocolate chip cheese ball with Scooby Snack graham crackers.

9. Wearing scrubs to work. This will be even better next year, when short call is done away with and we get to wear scrubs whenever we're not in clinic. Even better are the Pediatrics track jackets that we ordered, that have sort of become our call uniform. Paired with black scrub pants, I get told I look like a Bond girl and a ninja (true story). Paired with red scrub pants (or "clown pants" as Dr. Cedillos likes to call them), I get to match Christina, who is really embarrassed when we match and will now only wear her red pants AFTER I've already worn mine that week. The only problem is they don't come with a belt, and when you have 3 phones and 4 pagers to carry, it's a little hard to keep them up...still working on that one.

8. Owl Team Breakfast. This is by far one of the best traditions of the program so far. Although it's hard to pick just ONE Owl Team tradition to out shine the rest,you can't beat mimosas, sweet potato pancakes, and the lack of Friday morning clinic that accompanies the last weekend of the month. Circle up and re-live all the inside jokes from the month, stuff your face full of non-cafeteria breakfast food, and then go home and sleep in your own bed. Awesome!

7. Kudos. This really is probably my favorite part of the month--Kudos time at our Housestaff meetings. People send in Kudos for all sorts of things, from random inside jokes to thank-yous for helping out to a job well done. I've laughed myself to tears on multiple occasions. I won't bore you here with a bunch of inside jokes that you won't get, but if you're curious, I have a lot of good ones. Also, it's nice to occasionally get a real Kudos--like for doing a nice job in the ER, or to get a shout out for being awesome with a particular patient.

6. Rocking a procedure. Doesn't matter whether it's threading that UVC away from the liver, tying a stitch and seeing the skin come together perfectly, or popping through an LP needle and getting clear, beautiful fluid back--doing a procedure correctly is a pretty good high. Medicine in general is a lot about knowledge and not a lot about skills (unless you're a surgeon), and so when you get to use your hands to do something, it's pretty fun.

5. The kids! Obviously, this is why we do what we do. In the middle of rounds the other day, one 8 year old boy interrupted the presentation, pointed at our senior resident and said, "You're beautiful." I mean, it just doesn't get any better than that.

4. Being well-supported. This is huge for me. There were many times I wandered into the Chiefs office just to have a place to sit and hide while I ate a mini Twix. Times when I was getting slammed with admissions and someone else stepped up to take over even though it wasn't their team. Times when the cross-covering senior resident had to brave angry charge nurses or Gold Team crazies so that I wouldn't have to do it alone. I would hope that it's like this everywhere, but I know it's not, and I'm so grateful I'm here.

3. Outpatient months. Oh, those glorious days of rolling into clinic about 8:30 and rolling on out around 5. Getting a nice lunch break and not having to round. Oh, and vacation eligible, you say? Yes please!

2. My fellow 'terns. Holy cow, I can't even put into words how blessed I feel to be able to work alongside the rest of my class. They are smart, funny, hard-working, caring, and some of them are really good cooks! We have made it through a crazy year, and have 2 more crazy years left, and I couldn't ask for a better group.

And the number ONE best things about Intern Year--IT'S OVER! That's right kids, I made it! I am no longer the bottom of the totem pole. As of today, there is someone else going to be holding the pager and writing the notes. Of course, that also means that there's no one else telling me what to do when that pager does go off...cause that's now my job. Here's to being a senior resident!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Residency 1.12: The Purps

I'm 2 days away from finishing my month on Purple Team. More importantly, I'm 2 days away from finishing my Intern Year. This was a month of a lot of learning (thanks, Molly, for the board questions--I got all 4 right today, I can feel myself getting smarter!). It's interesting because I've pretty much been dreading the end of this month ever since March, when I found out I'd be starting second year on Owl Team. Dreading the day when I no longer had a senior over me to tell me what the right answer was. I thought I would never be ready to be the one making the final decisions. And as I near the end, surprisingly I'm pretty ready to move forward. Granted, I'm sure come July 1st, I'll probably still be like, "Um, I don't know, yesterday I was an Intern." But boy howdy, compared to the new interns, I'll have my stuff down! I think I'm finally ready to move on, to have more responsibility, more say in how things go, and less note-writing (!).

This was a really good month, full of basic pathology and really complex kids. In addition to the gen peds kids, we also were covering the renal service, and I got to see 2 kids get kidney transplants and a chance at a much more normal life--very cool! Of course, we also have the flip side--the kid who, because of a bad infection, basically has no kidney function left, and will require dialysis and likely transplant in the long term. But even that cloud has a silver lining, as we've been able to watch him slowly recover, celebrate his 8th birthday, and get back to eating tacos, which he loves. He popped in the workroom yesterday just to say "Hi!" and it totally made my day. I think he'll get to go home this week, which I don't think any of us would have even hoped for a week ago.

When I see these sick kids--the truly sick ones--get better, it is a humbling and awesome experience. For all the complaining we tend to do about ridiculous pages and long hours and the dreaded 5:55 admit, I wouldn't trade places with anyone for the world. I'm glad that at the end of the first year, I still see it that way.

Stay tuned for version 2.0...

Thursday, June 23, 2011

God's work

I just finished reading this book, "Same Kind of Different As Me." I didn't know much about it when I first started reading, except that it was recommended by a friend. And I wasn't warned that I would cry through the last quarter of it, so consider yourself duly warned now. It's a wonderful story about a homeless man who has a lot to teach despite never having set foot in a school, and a wealthy art dealer that lives in his own kind of poverty, and how their lives were changed by one woman's boldness and love. At one point, one of the characters talks about that woman staying on the earth until God had finished His work with her. It made me stop and think about what that work is in my life. It's empty lip service to say that God has a plan for each of us if we never try to figure out what that plan is.

The easy answer is that I'm His hands and His words to the patients that I see, but I have to admit that I don't always have that at the forefront of my mind when I walk into a room. There are many days when I'm distracted and impatient, anything but merciful and loving. I can only pray that He will work through me despite myself, and that over time, I may grow more docile and pliable. It's baby steps though, and a lot of steps backwards, it seems. But God is bigger than my failures, and so I do believe that He is doing His work, and He's not finished with me yet.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Check

You know that feeling of checking something off your list? That something that has been nagging you for a week and every time you see that little sticky note, you're like, "Gah! Forgot again!" and then it stays on there for another day because you can't really pick up a library book or go to the bank at 9:30 pm, and once dinner is over, that "Work Out" line ain't never gonna happen. The satisfaction of checking things off makes me create lists just so I can cross 'em out. It's sick, really. Well, you can congratulate me however you choose. I just finished my entire to-do list for today! AND I had time to go to the pool (which was not on my list, but shoulda been)! SUCCESS!!!!!

Don't worry, I've already started my to-do list for my next day off.