There could be love

I'm re-reading "The Giver". Not only in preparation for watching the movie, but because even though I remembered the concept from 6th grade, something in me knew that I would appreciate it more now. That something was right.

There are elements of the community in the book that are startlingly real: regulating birth, euthanasia, sacrificing differences and love and choice for the sake of order, predictability, safety, and sameness. Those stand in stark contrast with the vivid memories that are passed on to Jonas--memories of pain, destruction, exhilaration, happiness, loneliness. And the Giver's favorite memory: love. Lois Lowry chose Christmas as the depiction of love--three generations of a family wrapped in the warmth of candles and a fire, gleaming tree and piles of presents.

What would I choose to pass on as a memory of love? It's a big concept, which even Jonas' father recognizes. When Jonas asks his parents, "Do you love me?" they chide him for impreciseness of language (a serious offense in their community, which is almost comical). Do they enjoy him? Certainly. Are they proud of him? Of course. But don't ask if they love him.

Such is the difficulty of choosing a memory of love. It's too big. I have memories of belonging (my final dinner party in KC--smoked pork and cookie cake and yard jenga and hugs), enjoyment (bonfire at Camp Wojtyla with Scott shouting "Victory victory!" at the top of his lungs and the drinking-song-version of "At Camp Wojtyla"), comfort (Calie holding my hand during a difficult meeting, saying volumes without saying anything), and many other facets of love, but I'm having a hard time coming up with one that encompasses it all. Maybe it says more about the vastness of love than the inadequacy of my recall. Yeah, we'll go with that. But it's interesting to ponder just the same.

Even in a society where "love" as a word and a concept is derided for its impreciseness, Jonas is able to recognize how powerful it is. He whispers in awe to the young child staying with his family, "Gabe, there could be love!"

I don't have a solid memory of it, but I know I've felt it, and I know it exists, and that's enough.