Not Just Joy

For those of you haven't seen the movie "Inside Out", I highly recommend you dismiss the notion that it's a children's film or immature or silly, and just see it. It has a (surprisingly research-based) look at the emotions vying inside each of our heads. I was made aware of the truth behind it this week when I learned that the human has six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, anger, and disgust (newer research suggests that maybe fear/surprise and anger/disgust have similar origins; "Inside Out" left out surprise).

What I think is interesting about this (and it's not my own insight, but it is worth sharing) is that most of us have been taught that the only acceptable emotion in most daily circumstances is happiness.

If we're sad, we better pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, remember that others have it worse, hide our tears, get it together, see a therapist, or eat some ice cream.

If we're angry or disgusted, we'd better not show it, or at least show it in a very socially acceptable manner that involves a lot of tolerance, productive actions, and G-rated language. And also, it's more okay to feel anger if you're a man.

If we're surprised or afraid, we need to run, hide, man-up, take a deep breath, always carry a weapon, trust God more, or try harder to change our circumstances.

So that if you're feeling anything but happiness, it should be short-lived, well-controlled, for a very, very good reason, and mostly experienced on the inside.

Well, that's just not how it works, and that's okay. We were discussing it in the context of acceptance and mindfulness, being able to see your emotions as a reaction and not judging them for being the "wrong" emotions, but allowing them to exist because they already do. We still have a choice whether we respond according to those emotions, but they are still there, and they still serve a purpose. Which "Inside Out" showed so well.

So whether you are happy, disgusted, or fearful, know that they are all perfectly normal and acceptable emotional states. Give yourself a little break. Admit it, we all thought Joy was a little over-the-top annoying anyways.