"Take a moment to remember..."

It’s now been over a week that we’ve been down from camp. The end of summer party has come and gone. The counselors have returned to their homes. I am (almost) unpacked. I’m still trying to capture the enormity of the four weeks, to somehow process it. My journal entries provide a raw look at what transpired during those weeks, so that’s where I started.

As I read the musings of my heart while at camp, I was struck by the intensity of it. So much longing, so much doubt, so much desire, so much gratitude and regret and openness. It’s no accident these writings spring from the grace of daily Mass, frequent confession, adoration, and daily prayer. When I am close to Him, my true heart is known. I can know myself more accurately, see His work in me more easily, hear His voice more clearly. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. Camp is hard—the writing is evidence of that—worry, anxiety, frustration. The storms, the fatigue, the soreness, the feelings of inadequacy. But more than that, there is comfort. Prayers of gratitude and safety and confidence in God’s love also fill the pages. I can almost hear the sigh of relief as the words move from questioning to resting in Him, over and over again. He is in control, and He came to give us life to the full.

The Suscipe of St. Ignatius made its way to the front of my mind numerous times at camp, and is one of my favorite prayers. It embodies the abandonment necessary to give completely of oneself without calculating the cost. This is the radical availability that we live at camp, which is one of the greatest lessons and challenges of the whole summer. 

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.